مبانی کامپیوتر

مبانی کامپیوتر: آن بخش از یک سیستم را که می‌توان با چکش خرد کرد، سخت‌افزار و آن قسمت را که فقط می‌توان به آن فحش داد، نرم‌افزار می‌گویند!

سوسک پولدار

دو تا سوسک پولدار ازدواج می کنند. ماه عسل میرن توالت فرنگی!

کچل

از یه کچل می پرسن اسم شامپوت چیه؟ می گه من از شیشه پاک کن استفاده می کنم!

صرف فعل نشستن به گویش لری

 صرف فعل نشستن به گویش لری: مو بنشینم، تونم بنشینی، اونم بنشینه، ما که بنشینم، شمام که بنشینید، دیه جا نی اونا بنشینن!

جک با ادبی

تنها  بیوه زن ها میدانند که

 هر شب شوهرشان کجاست

Jo ck

I read somewhere that 77% of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23% who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.
--Emo Philips

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.
--Heard in a neuropsychology classroom

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
--F. Scott Fitzgerald

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital. On the other hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out.

I'll listen to reason when it comes out on CD.

What women and psychologists call "dropping your armor," we call "baring your neck."

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

I often dream about being carried away by a giant squirrel. Does that make me a nut?

Once I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Being in therapy is like making love to a beautiful woman. You get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

عاقبت سواری دادن به بچه شاش است

به صورت نا معصوم این کودک بنگرید

این جنایت با روان بچه بازی کردن است . شما با سواری دادن بچه سزایتان همین است . نتنها هیکل خود را خراب می‌کنید بچه را هم بد عادت می‌کنید .